did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a shit load of segways right now
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize