I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize