my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Bring me that man meat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize