The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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