Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
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Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
jump out the window naked night went bad
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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