I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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