You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood and glitter go together right?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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