Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize