No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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