like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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