Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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