...so i touched it.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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