what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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