Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
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