Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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