so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
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i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
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Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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