Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Who died my cat blue again?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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