im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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