Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
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