Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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