i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
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we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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