yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
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I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
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She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
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