About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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