Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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