oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Randomize