I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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