We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize