dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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