you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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