Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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