I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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