He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize