You work out of a Hotel?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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