What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
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She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
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It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize