Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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