And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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