I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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