The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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