I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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