I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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