Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
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