is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I love you. Go after that dick
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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