Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
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She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
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I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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