Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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