My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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