i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
pray to the hookup gods
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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