booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
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