your parents love me but you hate me
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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