Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize