You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize